Where are all the godly men? I can’t seem to find them on Christian Mingle!

Men who refuse to pursue women outside of marriage will never lead inside of marriage.

I decided to go online to meet men because the men I was surrounded by were gluttonous, slothful, and refused to pursue. When I got online, I discovered an even greater number of gluttonous men who still would not even pursue, but, even more so, were exceptionally self-righteous, judgmental, and had standards even higher than I could make.

If you are a man on Christian Mingle and you think you are Godly, why are you not pursuing women, but instead waiting for them to smile or message you? No! That is lazy and not what a leader inside the home does. You need to “risk” rejection and message first or you are not acting like a biblical leader.

1 Timothy 3:5 says, “If someone does not know how to manage his household, how will he care for God’s church.” This passage regarding church leadership equally applies to all men. If you are not married, your “House” is not only how you manage your finances and your employment and your behavior; but how you manage your body. If you lack the discipline and self-control to stop self-indulging and overeating, how can you lead a woman in a disciplined manner or how can you indulge in her when you are showing that your preference is self-indulgence? Losing weight is more about diet than exercise. So, the excuse of, “I don’t have time to lose weight,” is not true—everyone has time to abstain from overeating. Leaders don’t make excuses.

Dating women who are biologically young enough to be your daughter is about self-indulgence in sexual fulfillment. Don’t pretend its anything otherwise. Most women do not like men contacting them on line with such an age difference. Some men will say, “Hey, I’m just being open to what God will provide to me!” I say, if that were actually true you would seek women as many years older than you than younger; yet, consistently these same men will browse women 10-15 years younger but no more than two years older.  Godly men will pursue women within their generation, not outside of their generation.   And this is where I will momentarily digress from the topic; Many men will respond, “Hey, Boaz married Ruth and he was honorable!” Well, you are TOTALLY missing the point of honor in Boaz. It wasn’t because of his age difference, it was because he would have had to raise “Another Man’s Child!”  Any children Ruth had would be considered from Ruth’s first husband, not Boaz’s loins–that is why the Closest of Kin to Ruth changed his mind and didn’t want to marry a hot babe because she came with “child” strings attached. Ruth was essentially a single mom. But as I said, I digress.

The behavior of women is never an issue. If you are a Godly man, you will love like Christ loved the church and love like Hosea loved Gomer–even in her ugly, rotten, unfaithful character.

Men, you have got to stop making excuses and start acting like men. Take back your manhood from those rotten, feminist men-haters! Don’t let godless people in our culture decide for you how men should act–Let biblical truth decide for you. Now is the time for action for the days are evil. The buck stops with you!

Genre: The eclectic label

Genre is such a fancy word. When I was a young student I used to be impressed with anyone who used this word. It made them sound so smart and knowledgeable. As an adult I don’t get as impressed but I still like the word, even though it is a little more common.

Having kids really wakes me up to how I don’t understand many words as well as I thought I did. I ask myself a lot about what a word really means in which I have heard for so long and have even used myself. When I get the, “Mom, what does that word mean?” question and I struggle to explain it in a way my kids can understand, I realize I don’t really understand it myself.

Let me tell you what I think a genre is! It’s everything! It’s a word to describe a type of art consisting of print, video, paint, music, etc. in it’s own style. There are classic movies and there are modern movies. There are still life paintings and renaissance paintings, there is grunge rock music and there is pop music. There is historical fiction writing and there is mythological writing. Any art you have is categorized into its own genre or group based on its style.

My favorite type of literature genre is science fiction followed by and sometimes combined with adventure. Some examples of this type of blended genre are Michael Crichton’s ‘Next’ and ‘Jurassic Park.’ and Stephen King’s ‘Under the Dome.” An example literature from the adventure genre is Daniel Defoe’s ‘Robinson Crusoe’ and GA Henty’s ‘The Dragon and the Raven”; which is also part of the Historical Fiction genre.

Genre is a simple word to help us label a style, any style. I will be using this word more in the future when talking about my preferences and when asking others about theirs.

Survival Tools

I’m fascinated with a lot of tool technology but ultimately I prefer something my 5’3″ frame can transport all by my lonesome. This forces me to find a tool that has more than one purpose and is small. I have found two such tools that I could haul on my back if need be.

These tools are the Crovel Extreme II Tactical Survival Shovel (https://silodrome.com/crovel-extreme-ii-survival-shovel/) and a water filter, such as the MSR Guardian Purifier (https://www.amazon.com/MSR-Military-Grade-Backcountry-Emergency-Preparedness/dp/B019ERWU66?tag=bdsamazonlb-20&psc=1).

The first tool I would like to have if I needed to bug out with what was on my back is the Crovel. This tool is multi-purpose and would help me in a variety of situations I would come across in safety, food, shelter prep, gardening, construction, destruction and penetration.

The second tool I would like to have if I needed to bug out with what I could carry on my back is a water filter. No matter what I need water to survive and can’t go much more than  day with out it. Water needs to be clean and free from parasites, virus, bacteria, chemicals, or anything that would kill me or make me sick. A water filter would help me clean any water wherever I am. Some water filters come with pumps that would allow me to pump my water out of a difficult to reach location.

With these two items I could make a secure shelter, fire, prepare food, make additional tools and implements to cook with and drink with and basically give me the ability to secure my minimal needs in an urgent situation. I certainly don’t plan on putting myself in this situation, but neither did Robinson Crusoe. These two items would increase my chances of survival in a bug out situation.

Leonid Meteor Shower

I just watched the Leonid Meteor Shower. It was supposed to be at its peak at 6am, however, I have been up since 4:30AM and I would say its peak was closer to 5AM.

There were a variety of meteors, not all of which were in the Leo constellation. Some shot through Orion and some through Arcturus. Some travelled slow, like a plane, and lasted a while. Some were gone almost as fast as they appeared. Some were about the same brightness as the other “general” stars. Some were bright like a match then gone.

I am always pleased at how consistent our stars are. They are steady and immutable. Yet, they give us variety with meteor showers, placement in sky due to season, and visibility due to sun and clouds. They bring peace to the soul from their unchanging shape and their continual appearance—like a good friend, they are always there.

If your life is lacking in consistency, may I suggest watching the stars nightly. This is not sorcery as God placed them for our delight. When you have had a hard day your soul with be able to rest in the hope of seeing the stars still where they ought to be!

Men Don’t Value What They Don’t Labor For

The “general” failure of all men is passivity and laziness. We see this at the start of humanity in Genesis 3:1 when the serpent tempted Eve with Adam by her side; and Adam, committing the first sin by a human, refused to engage and protect his wife from attack. He was content to “Not Act” and let his wife handle her own protection.

This fallen mentality is the same mindset of why men love remote controls because they don’t have to put in much effort to change the channel. If they had to get up every time they wanted to change the channel they would be more thoughtful about the channel they chose and committed to. But, while sitting back in an easy chair, they can flip and flip and flip with remote in hand, without putting thought into their choice and not committing to the choice they make.

Online dating also encourages laziness and passivity in men. Men can make an ad, upload a picture, and sit back and wait for the women to do the work of hunting and pecking. They don’t have to work for a female, but she works for him. He will never truly value her because he had to put little or no effort into her. Imagine how committed men would be to their women if they had to work 14 years for them like Jacob did Rachel?

I will never again volunteer my number to a guy or ask for his number. If he actually valued me, he would put energy, effort, and creativity into connecting with me. I, in turn, would feel valued; the need all women generally need from the men in their lives.

It’s time for us ladies to rise up and assist our brothers in nurturing better behavior in them by not allowing them to have us without working to get us. As Iron sharpens Iron (Provers 27:17) us women need to be a firm bulwark against the lazy passivity of men. With our collective refusal to letting them “easily” attain us, we will make men better men which we will ultimately be more satisfied in.

Domestic Violence and That Stupid Black Eye Ad

Yes. I Admit it. I have been denying it and hiding it. I am a victim of Domestic Violence. I have lived with a physically abusive man for 15 years.

I have to confess it, because, quite frankly, there really is not much physical evidence to confess it  for me.

In the first few weeks of my marriage, when I was pushed, pulled, yanked, kicked in the rear (not hard enough to bruise, but hard enough to hurt) and locked in a room…There was no physical evidence.

When I was slapped across the face and immediately backhanded—there was no bruise and the red mark was gone quickly leaving no physical evidence.

When I was hit, with an open hand over my ear and jaw, behind my hairline, and my ear rang for half an hour…there was no physical evidence.

When I was locked in a small room and whipped 20 times with a twisted up towel (yes, it hurts)…there was no physical evidence.

When I was pulled up the stairs by my hair and pinned down…there was no physical evidence.

When I was locked outside barefoot, in the middle of winter for half an hour…there was no physical evidence.

When, after physical violence or daily angry name calling and controlling with the unspoken threat of physical violence, I am quoted 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 and required to have sex with my husband, under duress…there was no physical evidence

1 Corinthians 7:3-5English Standard Version (ESV)
3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

When I was 7 months pregnant, and could barely move and  accused of refusing to submit, picked up in anger, and thrown a couple feet away on the couch…there was no physical evidence.

When I have had pens thrown at me–it physically hurt, but…there was no physical evidence.

When I was crushed with his body and couldn’t breath very well because my lungs were being smashed and he stopped before  there might be 911 consequences…there was no physical evidence.

When Iwas forced to undergo sleep deprivation for years by requiring me to wake up in the middle of the night for hours at a time and required to answer angry accusations with the answer he wants…there was no physical evidence.

When I had 1,000 hairs pulled out of my head–no lay person would notice only 1% of my head hairs missing…there was no physical evidence.

When my cheek was pinched really hard, hard enough to hurt, but no bruising…there was no physical evidence.

The image of the woman with the black eye as representative of domestic violence does injustice to the problem and makes it more hidden.  Black eyes are the minority extreme example of domestic violence. That image causes the majority of domestic violence victims to be trapped, because the only proof our culture now accepts is a black eye, and since we don’t get one, we are brushed off as lying or crazy.

STOP Domestic abuse by believing women when they tell their story.

STOP Domestic Abuse by recognizing and admitting that not all marital problems are 50/50 in fault.

If you are an attorney, STOP Domestic Abuse by not allowing your DV client to use you and the legal system to abuse his victim further.

If you are a judge, STOP Domestic Abuse by not allowing the Domestic Abuser to use the legal system to terrorize his victim.

If a man is falsely accused of domestic violence, he will be honorable and quietly leave the woman and sacrifice to give her the blessing in separation.

If he is guilty, he will likely slander her name and demand money. Innocent men don’t demand money, they usually turn the other cheek.

When it comes to children, it is relationship specific. But remember, a guilty abusive man, will demand access to his children in public, but behind the scenes neglect it. You won’t ever see the neglect unless you show up at the scheduled residential time and observe.

If you support the domestic abuser by giving him money, or you are encouraging him in declaring him being the “One” in the right in his relationship, or giving him a place to stay when he still actively denies and attacks his victim, you are a domestic abuser yourself. You are making life all the more difficult for his victim and his children.

In conclusion, Domestic Abuse does more than just hurt and traumatize a woman and those who observe the abuse (usually children), but it teaches female children what to accept from a man and it teaches male children how to treat females, thus perpetuating the cycle of violence.  You can stop domestic abuse by emotionally and socially supporting victims–because that is what we are–we can’t escape on our own–we need someone to reach in and pull us out. There are more of us than you know and we don’t get black eyes.













Born that way or Managed that way?

I am reading an article on transgenderism and the continuing idea in this article, as well as in discussion of this topic which I have heard over decades is transgenders feel they “were born this way.”

When I was little I always remember wishing I was a boy. I was born a girl but wanted to be a boy. That idea stayed with me through my early 20’s. I have five children now, and one of my daughters, who is more like me has vocalized and expressed the same sentiment I felt growing up that she wishes she was a boy.

I have never been attracted to women/girls (and I know my daughter isn’t, either). I even remember being repulsed by that idea growing up. I just wanted to be a boy—it had nothing to do with being sexual with another person or having sexual attraction toward another person.

In this era of open acceptance to all forms of sexuality—people who are born to be heterosexual have been bullied with LGBT pressure put onto them to accept their sexual lifestyle choices to the point that we are now being told we are wrong for being and feeling heterosexual and since our children are being bombarded on all sides, since infancy, being told this, it is no wonder that many heterosexual youths are experimenting in that non-heterosexual behavior, which they otherwise would not have chosen had they not been bullied into it.

But this constant mindset of “I was born this way. How can I be one way yet feel another?” in all these transgenders and homosexuals; And knowing that I have always been heterosexual, yet remembering feeling like I was a boy trapped in a girl’s body, has got me reasoning:

1) God does not make mistakes.

2) He does not put boys in girl’s bodies and vice versa

3) Having a desire to be a boy while being a girl is not an effect of sexual orientation

4…) Why would this happen? Why did I want to be a boy? Why do many little girls remember wanting to be a boy? What was the commonality?

So, I go back in time and I remember certain instances in my childhood when I vocalized, “I wish I was a boy!” And I try to remember what was happening at that time.  It hits me! It is the same type of situation in every instance! What was happening in my environment that made me feel like I wanted my gender to be opposite of what my chromosomes declared? OPPORTUNITY!  Opportunity is what was happening!  Baseball, Football, Being a Doctor, Being a Priest, Being the President, Playing chess with respect, Etc.!  All of these opportunities had been reserved for those with XY Chromosomes!

As a middle-aged woman, I am glad I am not an XY. I don’t want to be an XY; And I realize, in reflecting over my life that I actually had never wanted to be an XY, I simply just wanted to partake in worldly activities that my generation still said was only for those with XY Chromosomes.

There is a role difference between men and woman—but it is not a role difference found in worldly activity like our pagan culture wants to manage; the role difference is found in how we interact with each other.  There would be less confusion and pain if people would stop disrespecting people for the chromosomes they had at conception. We need XX’s and XY’s. They are both equally important.


No think, No Thanks.

What if I flew to Mexico, found a widow with children living in a village with no electricity or running water and struggling to find food to eat, saw the impoverished condition this woman and her children lived in and decided to do something about it. That would be good right?

What if what I chose to do with my charitable funds was to buy for the woman a house cleaning service? Yes, that’s right. She has no electricity, no plumbing and she struggles to find food for herself and her children and I, in my great kindness, give of my own money to provide her with house cleaning service!

Have I actually spent money on this woman because I have spent money while thinking about her? Have I spent money on her needs or even spent money on something she can actually use?  Do I deserve her gratitude? Do I deserve praise?

The clear and obvious answer is no and no. The  less obvious answer is no and no. Yet, common place in our American society we thoughtlessly do things for others based on what we would want in our life. We view someone’s dire situation, we don’t assess or prioritize their needs, we give without thinking (because giving is a need we have to make ourselves feel good) and then we expect a pat on the back and get offended when we are not recognized for our efforts.

“But,” you say, “It’s the thought that counts, right?” well yes, that is true. However, most people do not think before they give.

The purpose of giving is to ease a burden. If a little child tries to ease a burden and messes up and makes things worse, we thank the child for their efforts because we are trying to teach them and to show them love and gratefulness. We are easing them of their burden of incompetence and physical dexterity. An adult does not get or deserve hand-holding. An adult has full brain development. An adult can think and has skills and background to make informed decisions. When an adult messes up, it’s not incompetence or lack of dexterity, it’s lack of thought.

Please think before giving.

Morning Stars

Have you ever woken early to view the stars before the sun comes up? I do on many mornings and am continually amazed at the details of star mapping, written by many men before us, which were so accurate and so abundantly indefinite.

I’m starting to be able to identify Altair, Deneb, and Vega. These are the first stars I look for because finding them is something I am getting capable at.

During winter I was able to see Mars, Jupiter and Saturn, as they’d march across the dark sky together–at that time I could see them at 6am. With summer stars I have to get up before 4:15am otherwise the sunlight hints too much into the morning sky to see the stars well. That planet trio no longer marches side by side this time of year.

This morning I connected some more dots…I’m tickled to see that the Greek story involving Cassiopeia, Cepheus, Perseus and Andromeda is sitting in my sky. I was raised on more movies than books (Shame on the adult figures in my childhood) and still remember the movie Clash of the Titans, so the story line to connect these stars is easy. Now if only I could identify their shapes!

I think most of us can’t tell a star from an artificial satellite. I still can’t without the handy help of my Skyguide App. It is just really complicated. This is why most of us don’t know our stars.

In conclusion, if I may give some advice for those that would really like to just know what they are looking at, go outside at your preferred night hour, find the brightest star in the sky and just look at it. try to remember where it’s located (which changes according to hour of day as well as time of year) and however you choose, whether app or map, find it’s name (memorize that, too) and learn what you can about just that star. The next time you go out to star gaze, find your chosen star and only that star, enjoy the other ones, but only focus on your star. If you try to learn about other stars too soon, it may overwhelm  and your solid understanding of your first star may only be week. This way you may finally get some confidence in those beautiful sparks in our sky.

No Goals! A Problem!

Since completing the goal of reading the bible in 90 days I have struggled with what to do next. I have found myself re-reading one small 5 chapter book over and over again (which I admit, is good for familiarity) and listening to a few sermons and reading a few commentaries on it. But I feel dead in the water.

I see my library filled with 1,000 books. Which do I open?

I see the internet filled with a zillion megabytes. What do I click on?

Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink.

I have amazing access to information that only royalty, and not even royalty had access to a 100 years ago.

But what do I do with it? What is relevant to me? It’s not possible in a lifetime to peruse everything. I only have 24 hours in a day. I can’t fritter my time only with interesting but impractical knowledge. How  do I decide what is right for me? If I don’t make a decision, I am as useless as an aircraft carrier with no engine power. All the potential but no nothing!

When I started the bible in 90 days I had a goal: Read the bible in 90 days; and a plan to accomplish the goal: read specific parts each day according to the outline. I started the plan and finished the plan and accomplished the goal. Each day I knew what I had to do. There was no wandering. There was not drifting.

I don’t have another goal. Can I make one? Sure. What is most important? How do I decide?

There are ample businesses in action whose sole purpose is to help people set goals. These people have studied and laid out a general path to achieve success (i.e. accomplishing of a goal). They have reviewed psychology, sociology, psychosomatics and more. They have watched business fail and succeed and analyzed why. They have come to the conclusion that everyone needs a goal to succeed. And everyone needs a proper goal. This proper goal may be called Vocare, or calling. Your calling is something that is best fit for you. When you have this, you function full steam ahead. When you don’t, well, we all know what happens, nothing!

So my plan is to find my callings–macro-callings and micro-callings. Some micro-callings will put wind in my sails until my engine is up and running so I am no longer dead in the water.